I was suffering from writers block a few months back. I was so busy and stressed out over life, yet to my dismay my normal stress reliever (writing) wasn't producing results. I'd sit down in front of the computer and nothing, and more nothing followed that... after that, you guessed it, even more nothing. I was sure my brain had broken. It has been driving me insane. My conclusion to this problem?
I decided to start writing about my life instead of trying to come up with topics that'd grab attention.
My life, after all, is pretty awesome. Most days that is. Why not share it?!
With that said: Here you go....
Please Forgive Me, I Woke Up Today Inside of Someone Else
When a bad day becomes a gift:
I wake up exceptionally early each day in order to get things done before my demon spawns fly out of their rooms and wreak havoc. Waking up that early isn’t fun but it is literally the only quite time I get a lot of days. Most days this desire seems to fall upon my children's "deaf ears" though. This morning was no exception.
I awoke at 5:45am and preceded to listen to music while I picked up the house and looked over their home school plan for the day. Looking over the plan and getting it ready is imperative to the day going smoothly. In case you don't already know, Zain has autism and can be a handful at times. He requires sameness each and every day. This routine is important to him being able to function. None of this diminishes how amazing he is though. In addition to Zain’s autism, Dryden has ADHD and as a result is beyond hyper and inattentive. At times it is way too much to take. I honestly think it is a whole lot for him to deal with too. His poor brain never stops. It is so extreme that he hurt his neck months back due to his hyperactivity.
|Courtesy of: www.DefyingTheSpectrum.com|
|Courtesy of: RiverviewHealth.org|
But I digress…
Fifteen minutes after I got out of bed Zain sensed my presence missing from my room and came stomping into the living room. With utter selfishness I thought, "There goes my hour of alone time. No quite time today. Another day without it. I do believe this is a record by now." Of course I didn’t say any of this. Not saying the selfish things that we think is part of being a good parent. So, undoubtedly this isn't what I said. Instead I carried on with the mommy thing and said good morning, hugged him, and made breakfast.
Let me just take a moment to ask you this: Are there any other mothers or fathers out there that plead for that hour of quite time, even if part of it is spent cleaning? If you said you don't and you love having you children around you 24/7 I am here to tell you that you're a damn liar. We all entreat for that time. We love our children but it’s how we keep ourselves sane. You know that invisible "line" that tells you that you are a parent and a productive member of society, you know, the one that also reminds you that you aren't a rock star that has no responsibilities? You know that "line," it’s called reality. Yeah, that hour of quite keeps that line from blurring. So you see, knowing this makes it understandable that I was somewhat irritated by the whole day at this point.
Shortly after Zain woke up Dryden did too. He came out of his room rubbing his eyes, in nothing but underwear (which were in no way what he went to bed in.) He immediately asked if it was really a school day or if he dreamed it. To this Zain replied by saying, "Yes there is school Dryden, we have to do school every day. No stop." This came out in an extremely smart-ass tone. To which Dryden snapped back, "Nuh uh Zain, we get breaks." Now it is on. Zain's authority and his word have been questioned. Blood must be shed. (While I am kidding, in a way I am not.) It’s the one-sided thinking that Zain lives with as a result of his autism that caused this fight. He wasn’t giving up and the exchange lasted for about 5 minutes. What am I doing during this you may ask? I was laughing inside, yes, ok... I admit it. This has become such a common occurrence in our home we have to find the humor. I definitely found the humor in this, right away. I might as well have popped popcorn. It is hilarious the things a 9 and 12-year-old will come up with. I do believe I was compared to a disgraceful slave driver, a callous Police Officer, and the President of the United States.
Instead of getting mad in that moment I surprisingly realized that this is a boon, definitely a desirable state of mind to find yourself. A certain way that I can tell I’m a good mother. You see, nowhere in there did my children accuse me of being their friend. Obviously I'm doing something right. Amazing insight for me in my life. My point? Don't always assume something is going to ruin your day; those moments of stress can in turn be a piece of good fortune. I'm just now learning that. Sometimes assuming can cause you to wreck your day. What I assumed was going to end up being a stressful day ended up being made before 7 am. I doubt I’ll be lucky enough to have such a learning situation thrown at me again for a while but I'll take this smile and wear it for as long as I can.
Then again it seems maybe I haven't learned my lesson about assuming after all.
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